Téléphone cellulaire

So, on my fourth day, I'm off to Walmart to by the cheapest mobile phone I can find.  (£43.00 - we're not talking about a smart-phone here).  Later on, I ring Virgin to register the phone with my pay-as-you-go voucher.  I have transcribed some of the automated responses (not translated as well ... I chose the English-speaking option ....)

• "we are starting to feel neglected over here!" [me not pressing the buttons fast enough]
• "our award-winning service assistants will help you" [not UK-trained, I'm guessing]
• "Success!  But we're not quite done yet ..." [thank you, machine]
• "Hang on real tight while we hook you up with one of our service assistants" [too cheery]

Do I have a functioning telephone?  Yes.  Alright, I'll be quiet then.